Friday, March 30, 2018

Caregiving Bumps in the Road

It's ironic - now that I have so much to write about, I'm not writing about it anymore.

My autistic brother in law has receded into the background while we try to deal with issues surrounding my elderly mother in law, who is in the early stages of dementia.

Several evenings a week, we ('we' meaning family members in our area) have arranged for an agency to provide a home health aide to make supper for my mother in law, make sure she takes her meds (she can't manage them on her own anymore) and make sure she goes to bed with her oxygen on (on her own, she claims she doesn't need oxyge.  She does).

If a family member visits, she tends not to remember the next day.

Well....

We found out one aide wasn't doing her job, after a friend came over to visit and found some interesting things.  That aide lasted three weeks.  The current aide is good, but had car trouble - came one night via taxi (which probably ate up most of her pay for the night) and the next night, wasn't able to come - and the agency couldn't find a replacement.

So we and the friend all pitched in.  My spouse made dinner.  He had already visited his Mom earlier, after doing shopping.  He also did some of her financial affairs.

It never ends...until one day when it will end.

Meanwhile, "Bil" isn't feeling well, and, although he is supposed to come to his Mom's today for a weekend visit, we aren't sure what will happen.  When he left to go to his apartment this past Monday, she couldn't remember, a half hour later, when he was going to return.  She has become unmoored from time.

And, earlier this week, she couldn't remember her son's phone number, a number he has had for 31 years.

Ah, the joys of caregiving.

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Coming Up for Air #NoAtoZChallenge

It has been such a roller coaster ride, these last two months.

My mother in law has developed signs of dementia.  She goes to the doctor one day and forgets the next.  We found out the hard way, when she had not taken her medications in a couple of days.

It was a game changer, especially when a housing opportunity finally opened for Bil. We had to get (with family help) a lot of things together in a brief amount of time, but we all did it.

"Bil", my autistic brother in law, is now living in a supportive apartment about a five minute drive from where my husband and I live.  He lives there four days a week and spends the other three days with his mother. 

Her needs have exceeded what we can all provide and she now has a part time home health care aide.  She will run out of money in less than a year, though, and we don't know what we will do then.

It's all so exciting, I haven't had time to blog, and I will not be participating this year in the Blogging from A to Z challenge.

If you are one of my readers, and you do intend to A2Z, let me know, and I will be visiting your blog from time to time.

That's a promise.