Bil is spending at least one more night up here in upstate NY. Power to the house where he lives with his mother in law was just restored tonight, and a neighbor advises us the power comes on, it goes off, it comes on.
His cold seems better. So did his appetite.
We wouldn't be able to take him and his mother home until the weekend - my husband and I both have to work. But another family member may be able to take them home. We aren't sure he will be able to do so - it's a bit up in the air. We should know tomorrow.
Tonight Bil's appetite seems to have improved. I think he is sensing the end of his exile. He knows the power is back on. When he was getting ready to leave he turned to me and said "we have a 50-50 chance of going home tomorrow". And then he said "I hope I go home tomorrow".
This is one of the clearest communications he has ever had with me. It came out of nowhere.
Not only that but Bil seemed not to mind us not having the TV on during the visit. I'm a bit burned out on noise (my mother in law is hard of hearing and she wants the TV on at supersonic levels) and I just wanted it off. He didn't even ask once to have the Weather Channel on. His anxiety level was way down. I guess that is what hope does to someone-the hope of seeing home again.
It's been a good experience having the family up here, and it has also been stressful. But for their sakes, I hope they do go home tomorrow.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Autism and Taking Refuge From The Storm
Bil is lucky. He has been with family in the Southern Tier of New York since this weekend, before Irene moved in. Where he lives is still without power. The power won't be restored, according to their electric utility, before Thursday or Friday.
He has been patient, amazingly so, but is restless and we know he wants to go home.
He is fortunate in that he has visited here before, and is familiar with his family here, and their homes. But he has been a bit under the weather (literally) with a cold. He is really fortunate that he did not end up in a shelter. And that we did not end up being flooded out, which could have been a possibility. We didn't miss being flooded at our house back in 2006, when massive flooding hit our area.
People with autism who end up in evacuation shelters are unlucky indeed. They are noisy, smelly, chaotic: Everything that people with autism can not tolerate. There is no opportunity for privacy, such as Bil has here. Bil can watch TV here if he wants. In a shelter that would be impossible.
Bil suffers a lot from stomach problems, and he would have no choice of food in a shelter. And no private bathroom to work out his stomach problems in.
People with autism can react to stress by having tantrums, or stimming, and people who run shelters, generally, have no clue as to how to deal with that behavior. In general, they do not receive this type of training. Even after Katrina, even after other disasters, this training is lacking. Medicaid service coordinators do not deal with the possibility of their clients being evacuated with creating plans for their clients. It is something not thought of until it is too late.
That is going to become a problem as our population of people on the spectrum continues to increase.
I have no solution for this. Just gratitude that Bil did not have to go through that kind of experience - this time. Because we had a friend who offered to help us out - and it turns out she was a victim of the flooding.
Let's home Bil doesn't lose patience before it is time to go home.
He has been patient, amazingly so, but is restless and we know he wants to go home.
He is fortunate in that he has visited here before, and is familiar with his family here, and their homes. But he has been a bit under the weather (literally) with a cold. He is really fortunate that he did not end up in a shelter. And that we did not end up being flooded out, which could have been a possibility. We didn't miss being flooded at our house back in 2006, when massive flooding hit our area.
People with autism who end up in evacuation shelters are unlucky indeed. They are noisy, smelly, chaotic: Everything that people with autism can not tolerate. There is no opportunity for privacy, such as Bil has here. Bil can watch TV here if he wants. In a shelter that would be impossible.
Bil suffers a lot from stomach problems, and he would have no choice of food in a shelter. And no private bathroom to work out his stomach problems in.
People with autism can react to stress by having tantrums, or stimming, and people who run shelters, generally, have no clue as to how to deal with that behavior. In general, they do not receive this type of training. Even after Katrina, even after other disasters, this training is lacking. Medicaid service coordinators do not deal with the possibility of their clients being evacuated with creating plans for their clients. It is something not thought of until it is too late.
That is going to become a problem as our population of people on the spectrum continues to increase.
I have no solution for this. Just gratitude that Bil did not have to go through that kind of experience - this time. Because we had a friend who offered to help us out - and it turns out she was a victim of the flooding.
Let's home Bil doesn't lose patience before it is time to go home.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Bil is Safe
Bil is safe up here. He was brought up here by a family member.
It will be an interesting weather day for us here on the East Coast. A friend in NJ says things are pretty crazy there. I've been in communication with a friend in Brooklyn and a friend in Queens and they are OK but there is a lot of damage out on Long Island.
As for the suburb where Bil lives - we will have to wait till tomorrow to see. Don't know exactly when Bil will be able to go home so right now - we just watch and wait.
It will be an interesting weather day for us here on the East Coast. A friend in NJ says things are pretty crazy there. I've been in communication with a friend in Brooklyn and a friend in Queens and they are OK but there is a lot of damage out on Long Island.
As for the suburb where Bil lives - we will have to wait till tomorrow to see. Don't know exactly when Bil will be able to go home so right now - we just watch and wait.
Friday, August 26, 2011
The Approach of Irene - 24 hours to Go
NYC is hunkering down with mandatory evacuations. My mother in law and Bil are not in those zones.
LoHud (local newspaper for Westchester and Putnam County) has lists of emergency services.
Bil and my mother in law are going to stay put in their suburban NYC home. It is going to have to be a good choice because the bridges across the Hudson River are probably going to close sometime tomorrow. We won't be able to get to them even if we wanted to.
We've done what we can; we hope the family member shows up to stay with Bil and my mother in law.
Although we are not in an official danger zone where we are, we just bought bottled water and will make sure our cell phones are charged.
Earlier this week there was a bad storm at my mother in law's house and Bil was terrified. Well, I would have been too! I hope Bil's anxiety doesn't overwhelm her. Or him.
24 hours to go.
LoHud (local newspaper for Westchester and Putnam County) has lists of emergency services.
Bil and my mother in law are going to stay put in their suburban NYC home. It is going to have to be a good choice because the bridges across the Hudson River are probably going to close sometime tomorrow. We won't be able to get to them even if we wanted to.
We've done what we can; we hope the family member shows up to stay with Bil and my mother in law.
Although we are not in an official danger zone where we are, we just bought bottled water and will make sure our cell phones are charged.
Earlier this week there was a bad storm at my mother in law's house and Bil was terrified. Well, I would have been too! I hope Bil's anxiety doesn't overwhelm her. Or him.
24 hours to go.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Autism and Hurricane Irene
We aren't the only people out there worrying what will happen if Hurricane Irene impacts a family member with autism.
I remember accounts of the aftermath of Katrina, and the inability of families with a family member (I won't say "child" because there are adults, too) to get timely help.
There is at least one resource online but again (and I hope I am wrong) this concentrates on families with autistic children. As in non-adult children.
Well, I have a family member in his 50's. He is terrified of severe weather. We are hoping that a family member living much closer to his mother than we do will be able to stay with my mother in law and Bil, who live together in a suburb of New York City. The family member will make sure they have adequate supplies of food and water, that cell phones are charged, that they will not be alone. Otherwise, we would have had to go down and get them.
That in itself would have been stressful for Bil, because his routine would be disrupted, and because he seems to exist in a constant world of low level anxiety.
And one way or the other, Bil is going to undergo major stress and anxiety due to Irene. As I blogged before, Bil follows the Weather Channel religiously so he already knows Irene is on the way.
He isn't the only one. In doing an Internet search I came across a blog written by someone with autism, talking about the coming of Hurricane Irene.
This is going to be an anxious time for all of us - the relatives near NYC and we, out of the direct path, but holding our breath to see what will happen.
I remember accounts of the aftermath of Katrina, and the inability of families with a family member (I won't say "child" because there are adults, too) to get timely help.
There is at least one resource online but again (and I hope I am wrong) this concentrates on families with autistic children. As in non-adult children.
Well, I have a family member in his 50's. He is terrified of severe weather. We are hoping that a family member living much closer to his mother than we do will be able to stay with my mother in law and Bil, who live together in a suburb of New York City. The family member will make sure they have adequate supplies of food and water, that cell phones are charged, that they will not be alone. Otherwise, we would have had to go down and get them.
That in itself would have been stressful for Bil, because his routine would be disrupted, and because he seems to exist in a constant world of low level anxiety.
And one way or the other, Bil is going to undergo major stress and anxiety due to Irene. As I blogged before, Bil follows the Weather Channel religiously so he already knows Irene is on the way.
He isn't the only one. In doing an Internet search I came across a blog written by someone with autism, talking about the coming of Hurricane Irene.
This is going to be an anxious time for all of us - the relatives near NYC and we, out of the direct path, but holding our breath to see what will happen.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Hurricane Preparations?
Trying to ensure that my mother in law has adequate food, water, other supplies, and possibly someone can either stay with her and Bil or even bring her up here. Hurricane Irene is on the way, and people in the New York City metropolitan area don't have experience with hurricanes - unless they used to live in a hurricane area.
Long distance caretaking can be so much fun (not).
Better to be safe than sorry. We are in the way, too, but it wouldn't be as bad here as it may get where Bil lives.
As for us - we need to get some water stockpiled also. And some canned goods. For us it will be more wind and floods. This area has had massive floods, and we have a lot of trees around us. For Bil, I hope he is not terrified. He is always glued to the Weather Channel and he is terrified of heavy rain and lightening. He certainly knows this storm is coming and he is probably driving my mother in law crazy with his anxiety. She is a strong woman, but you can only be so strong when you are in your 80's.
Long distance caretaking can be so much fun (not).
Better to be safe than sorry. We are in the way, too, but it wouldn't be as bad here as it may get where Bil lives.
As for us - we need to get some water stockpiled also. And some canned goods. For us it will be more wind and floods. This area has had massive floods, and we have a lot of trees around us. For Bil, I hope he is not terrified. He is always glued to the Weather Channel and he is terrified of heavy rain and lightening. He certainly knows this storm is coming and he is probably driving my mother in law crazy with his anxiety. She is a strong woman, but you can only be so strong when you are in your 80's.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Hurricane Evacuation?
Just as I was wondering how the Northeast earthquake affected Bil (did he feel it wherever he was? How did he react?) we have to worry about Hurricane Irene.
My mother in law's house appears to be in the high risk zone. An 80 plus year old woman and her son with autism are not a good mix with a pending natural disaster.
They are not in a flood zone but this would not be a good thing for them to go through especially
a. if they lose power or
b. a tree falls on their house
Now we have to wonder if we should drive down there and bring them up here. We don't have much room and there would not be motel rooms available here, with the students returning to college. (we already know this from a previous time they were going to visit.)
We have a couple of more days to make this call. The funny thing is, we are on the border of the high risk zone ourselves. We may be moving her out of the frying pan and into the fire.
We just don't know.
My mother in law's house appears to be in the high risk zone. An 80 plus year old woman and her son with autism are not a good mix with a pending natural disaster.
They are not in a flood zone but this would not be a good thing for them to go through especially
a. if they lose power or
b. a tree falls on their house
Now we have to wonder if we should drive down there and bring them up here. We don't have much room and there would not be motel rooms available here, with the students returning to college. (we already know this from a previous time they were going to visit.)
We have a couple of more days to make this call. The funny thing is, we are on the border of the high risk zone ourselves. We may be moving her out of the frying pan and into the fire.
We just don't know.
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