The Monster Mash #FridayReflections

He was a graveyard smash.

He's always been attracted to horror.  He didn't know quite why, but there was something exciting about being scared when he was able to control the feeling.

There was so much he couldn't control.  There were the schoolyard bullies when he was young.  Then, when he was trying to find his way through a work world hard to understand, there was the boss that would yell and mock him.  There were the sounds that overwhelmed him.  There were the food textures that were unpleasant.  The tags in the clothing that irritated him.  The facial expressions that made no sense to him.  The unpredictable thunder in thunderstorms that petrified him.

He found so much in the world frightening.  When something became familiar, he clung to it with all his might.  Every change in his world was like an earthquake.

But, the horror stories.  And the horror books.  It was a way of him getting revenge on his tormentors, watching them scream and then be eaten by monsters.

The song "Monster Mash", in particular, made him imagine:  what if he was a famous singer?  No one would make fun of him.  He could do anything he wanted and he could be alone whenever he wanted. 

He would have his revenge at last.

Today's prompt on #FridayReflections:  Turn the radio on to your favorite station. Write a post using the song as your prompt.

Them, Too? What About Those with Disabilities?

My autistic brother in law, Bil, has never had a girlfriend.

He is definitely interested in women, especially blondes.  But I don't even know if he has ever tried to ask a woman out on a date.

On the other hand, would I ever have wondered if Bil was ever a victim of unwanted advances, on the other hand?

The recent #MeToo movement has made me wonder how many people outside of the disability community are aware of how often this vulnerable part of our population are subjected to this type of abuse. This is not to minimize what we of the non-disabled community have gone through (I am a woman in my 60's, so yes, I can come out and say MeToo, but that isn't the purpose of this blog post), but rather to bring up the following.

Here are some troubling statistics, courtesy of the national ARC: I quote, and hope the ARC is OK with that.  This word needs to go out.

"How often do adults and children experience sexual violence?
Studies consistently demonstrate that people with intellectual disability are sexually victimized more often than others who do not have a disability (Furey, 1994). Other studies suggest that 49 percent of people with intellectual disability will experience 10 or more sexually abusive incidents (Sobsey & Doe, 1991).
Any type of disability appears to contribute to higher risk of victimization but intellectual disability, communication disorders, and behavioral disorders appear to contribute to very high levels of risk, and having multiple disabilities (e.g., intellectual disability and behavior disorders) result in even higher risk levels (Sullivan & Knutson, 2000)....

Women are sexually assaulted more often when compared to men whether they have a disability or not, so men with disabilities are often overlooked. (emphasis is mine) Researchers have found that men with disabilities are twice as likely to become a victim of sexual violence compared to men without disabilities (The Roeher Institute, 1995). "

And this....
" How can sexual violence of people with intellectual disability be prevented?
The first step is recognizing the magnitude of the problem and facing the reality that people with intellectual disability are more likely to be assaulted sexually than those without disabilities. Also, societal attitudes must change to view victims with disabilities as having equal value as victims without disabilities, and giving them equal advocacy. Every sexual assault, regardless of who the victim is, must be taken seriously."

Yes, Bil is at risk, as is everyone else with an intellectual or communication disability, and Bil has both.

I wonder....does Bil have a #MeToo story to tell?

Friday Reflections for October 13 - Do You Dare?

Many community groups and nonprofits are waiting with bated breath for the outcome of the Scarecrow Decorating contest in our community.  Who will win?

I am a member of two nonprofits - here are their entries.

ACHIEVE formerly was called ARC, which, at one time, was called the Association of Retarded Children.  The name change shows just how far we have come. No one now, in our country, would ever name an organization using the "R" word.

STIC is the "Southern Tier Independence Center", a non profit for and by those who strive for independence.  Their major fundraiser is a haunted house escape room- do you dare enter the Escape Room?

I've never done escape rooms - have you?

Friday the 13th - a perfect day for a post related to Halloween.

Joining Sanch Vee and other bloggers for #FridayReflections.  Today's prompt:  bated breath.

Nostalgic - #FridayReflections

It was last September. My husband and I were sitting in his cousin's living room.

On his large screen TV, the cousin was playing DVDs of home movies his late father had taken.

On the screen, two teens and a pre-teen mock-fought in a childhood back yard.

Or, should I say, two teens mock fight, because the third boy (who may have been 10 or 11 at the time, come to think of it) wasn't really interacting with his brothers.

The movie was taken at a family picnic.  Almost all the adults in the movie are now deceased.

I had never seen the home movie before, and it took me a bit to recognize the three boys.  But my husband recognized them immediately.

The teens are a lot older now - two of them in their 60's, and one in his late 50's. They were my husband and his next younger brother. The youngest one, the one who really wasn't interacting, was Bil, my husband's autistic brother.

I enjoyed this tiny glimpse into their life, before I even knew them.  It was a time when things just seemed simpler.  We had no idea of what would come in the years since.

Nostalgia is longing for a simpler time. 

My husband's teen years, in many ways, were simple.  His parents were still there to make decisions, and the future was far away.

Sometimes, you just want to go back....

Join Sanch Vee and other bloggers for #FridayReflections