Voting #atozchallenge

To the best of my knowledge, my autistic brother in law, "Bil", never voted until a handful of years ago.  He was registered to vote where he lived then by his Medicaid Service Coordinator.

As far as I know, Bil had never voted before.  In years past, people with disabilities tended to be forgotten in many ways, including in having a right to exercise one of the basic rights of United States citizenship.  Outrageous, isn't it?

My husband, Bil's brother, is also his guardian. When Bil moved here in 2015, my husband made sure "Bil" was registered to vote.

 Last spring, "Bil" registered as a member of the party of his choice.

Then, in the New York presidential primary, my spouse took Bil to the voting place, and Bil voted.  Bil needed some assistance in the physical aspect of voting, but he made his own decisions and voted for the candidate he believed would be a good candidate for the party he follows.

Bil has some intellectual disabilities.  However, he watches TV a lot, and made up his mind who he would vote for.  If that process was influenced by the news channel he watches a lot - well, aren't we all influenced by someone?

Is he less able to vote than a neurotypical voter?

Should his vote count for less?

I say "no" to both.  Bil did vote - which is more than a lot of us do.  And he gave an interesting reason for his vote.  Because he felt the other candidate, the one he didn't vote for, was mean.

Some people would say, he does not have intellectual capability to fully understand the issues. Perhaps he did not totally understand the issues - but how many of us vote for logical reasons?  Think about it.

It's shameful that people with disabilities still find it difficult to vote in the United States.

Thankfully, Bil was able to register without difficulties in our home state of New York.  Shameful that so many with disabilities, who want to vote, find themselves disenfranchised.

It's a national disgrace.

I am proud, meantime of my brother in law, for doing his civic duty.

Did you vote in the last election whereever you live?

Why Fairy Tales Are More Than True

The United States Presidential election is over.  "Bil", my brother in law with autism, proudly voted.

He needed his brother's (my husband's) help.  He didn't understand much beyond the President and the vote for Senator. He's only lived here a little more than a year, and knew nothing about local candidates.  So he only voted for what he understood, and that's good.

But, in a way, his troubles may have only started.

I wonder what Bil thinks of all the post-election stuff happening - the fear, the protests.  He doesn't engage in any social media. He doesn't own a computer, a smart phone, or a tablet, and I decided years ago not to encourage it.  He is too naive - he is black and white in a grey, grey world.

Does he realize there are people out there who hate him, that consider him less than human, because of his disability?

Does he realize some of those haters want people like him gone from our society?  That isn't restricted to the United States, either.

Our President-Elect has not discouraged these haters, and there are, in fact, anecdotal reports of hate graffiti and worse since the election ended.

This is going to be a long four years for Bil, although he does not know it yet.

Which leads me to #FridayReflections.  One of the prompts is "What 10 things do you hope to be remembered by?  The first one would be "That I helped to make a better life for my disabled brother in law." because if we don't, who will, especially with all the incidents of hate taking place in our country?

Here are the others.

That I tried to make this Earth, in my own little way, a better place than it was on my day of birth;

That I raised a child who grew up to be honorable and hardworking;

That I remained true to my beliefs and did not give into hate (it's so easy to);

That I gave faithfulness and joy to the man I chose to spend my life with;

That I helped others with my skills;

That I did not misuse the talents I was granted from above;

That I honored the memory of those who came before me;

That I will be remembered for the good things I did and not the bad; and

That I recorded the beauty of this world and of the times I lived in.

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” – Neil Gaiman.  

I hope Neil Gaiman is right, because I fear we are going to be seeing a lot of dragons in the coming months and years.

Please visit the other blogs linked to #FridayReflections.

Bil's Declaration of Political Independence

I found it so hard to find a good title for this post about "Bil", my 50-something brother in law who has a developmental disability called autism.

Bil spends hours in his room, watching television.  But it isn't all for entertainment or to fight boredom.  Bil enjoys listening to political talk and news shows.  He has enjoyed these shows for years.

But he didn't vote until recent years, because no one really made the decision to find out if he was interested in voting.

When my husband and I moved Bil up here last year, we got him registered to vote.  He registered in the same political party as his mother, whom he has lived with all his life. That was not surprising. In many ways, he never showed much independence from the way she thought.  He watched the networks she watched for news.  He watched the talk programs she watched.

In the New York Presidential primary this April, he voted (we know this, because he told us - not because we asked him, because it is none of our business) for a candidate his mother would have supported.

But, a couple of months ago, he had an annual review at the agency that provides some services for him.  His mother, and my husband (who is Bil's guardian) came also.  By then, it was certain who would be running from each political party.

And there, he made a startling pronouncement, out of nowhere, while everyone discussed his progress.  It was the most surprising off-topic comment of his life.

He was voting for the "other" party's Presidential candidate, for a candidate his mother detested.

The people who work with Bil were pleased.  Very pleased.  Not because of who he was going to vote for, but because he had broken with his mother.  And indeed, according to my husband, Mom shot him a not-to-pleased look.

As he progresses in the program he is in (a topic for another blog post) he is slowly starting to show signs of independence - of trying to find his own way.  Most of us separate from parents as teenagers, finding our own way.  But Bil never did.  In some ways he never fully grew up.

I only think this is going to continue.

This may make it more difficult in some ways once Mom can no longer take care of him - he listens to her in situations where he won't listen to anyone else.  But he has the right to his own political opinions, and, in fact, his own opinions, period.  Opinions he has formed, not opinions handed down from someone else.

And yes, he will vote on election day.

Proudly.

Voring and Autism

Today was a milestone for the son of an autism advocate I have written about before.  It has been quite a year for this young man.  Turning 18, and then having his neighborhood flood severely, causing him and his family to have to relocate, and disrupting his school routine.  (at this point I don't even know if they have been able to return home.)

But today he voted!  What a milestone.

I'm proud of you, young man!

(I don't know if Bil voted.  I hope he did.)