It is a myth that autistic people do not care about the people in their lives.
Someone once mentioned that my mother in law and her autistic son "Bil" have a symbiotic relationship (more on that in a future post). She went on to say that, when she saw my mother in law and Bil sitting on a bench, taking a rest, they looked like an old married couple.
I wouldn't go that far. But I would say that they both need each other, tremendously.
When his mother could no longer stay in the house where they had lived for over 50 years, I had thought that Bil would oppose it, and we would have a hard time moving him.
We were wrong, and I still marvel at it.
Part of it, I think, is that Bil recognized that his mother was struggling, and could no longer keep up the house.
Another part of it, I think, was the fact that he was moving closer to his two brothers. Bil loves them both in his own way.
The move wasn't easy. In inspecting the house, it was found that the bedroom he had lived in all these years (in a finished basement) was an illegal bedroom. In order for the sale to go through, the bedroom had to be torn out. So, for the last month of the stay, Bil had to move into another bedroom, upstairs.
He did it without much complaint. Another surprise.
So there Bil was. Ready to leave the house he had lived in all his conscious life. He had already lost his bedroom.
He packed his own belongings. Once the house was empty except for the large stuff the mover was moving (including beds!) a next door neighbor friend took him and his Mom in for a couple of nights.
And then it was time for another family member to drive him and his mother up here (we drove back the day before to help get things set up).
The only major crisis in the move was when he couldn't find a pair of his pants. But, after a couple of days of fussing about it (we kept assuring him the pants would be found in the unpacking process), he announced one day "If you don't find the pants by Tuesday, I want to buy another pair." And all was well. (We did find the pants, by the way.)
Resilient. Bil was more resilient than we had ever dreamed.
Don't underestimate him.