Newtown, Aspergers and the Mentally Ill

I am breaking my silence about autism and the Newtown shooting.

I want to go on record to declare my support for advocates of those with autism and Aspergers Syndrome.

There has been so much misinformation in the media about autism and Aspergers. 

This is a spectrum disorder. Let's talk about Bil for a minute.  Bil, my brother in law with autism, is not Adam Lanza.  He never could be Adam Lanza.  He never would have been Adam Lanza.  Period.

Being socially awkward is not the same as the type of mental illness that apparently Adam Lanza suffered from.

And, I want to go on record to declare that the way we treat mental illness in our country is an absolute disgrace.

It doesn't help anyone.  It doesn't help the sufferer, it doesn't help the families, and it doesn't help society.

It avoids an issue that must be discussed, and discussed NOW.

I have personal experience with someone with mental illness. I've seen first hand that supports were little more than lip service.  Even today, I know someone whose brother is mentally ill.  I know someone else whose spouse is mentally ill.  Both times, families have been left with no support, and few options.

That has to stop.

Guns aren't the issue.  Mental illness is.  And I say that as someone who supports bans on the types of assault weapons that have no purpose other than mass carnage.  But I also know we had a mass shooting near where I live several years ago, and the shooter used a weapon legally purchased in a sporting goods store. Almost all of us who bought guns in that store would have used them responsibly.  Mental illness pulled that trigger, orphaned two children, and killed 13 people.

 Mental illness was the problem.  Experts say we are going to see more carnage if we don't change the mental health system.  And now we in the United States are in the most vicious of circles, where we buy even more guns out of total fear.  How many guns does it now take to defend our families from the improperly treated mentally ill?

Calling for armed guards in schools will not help the mentally ill.   Columbine had an armed guard.

We must change the mental health system.

When I was growing up, we said "Support Mental Health or I'll Kill You."  It is no longer funny.

I Wish I was a Wise Man

This time it's snow and wind.

First, there were the immediate concerns.

Will my mother in law lose her power?  Will Bil be temporarily at the mercy of his mother in law's decisions to stay put (or not) without power?  After Superstorm Sandy, it took days for her power to be restored.

This time her neighbor, who helped out so much, will be far away, in her winter home.

But now, there may be another storm coming right after Christmas.  We are going to have to make a decision, while we are visitingher and Bil for Christmas, of the best way to insure her safety.  Worse case scenerio, we will have to cram Bil and Mom into our small car and bring them back with us next Wednesday or Thursday.

But we can't keep doing this.  Again, I know "the our of decision" is almost here, but I still feel like a fly stuck in amber.


I feel paralyzed by the events in Newtown, which continue to affect some of my thought processes.

I wish I was a wise man, and I wish there was a star shining in the sky that would give us direction and guidance.

The Fallout of Aspergers

My mother in law fell again.  She is OK, with nothing broken, but did hurt herself, and is struggling with pain.  And now, we are struggling with the pain brought by the mass shooting in Newtown.  In a strange way, these events are related.

I think we are very close tothe point where Mom is not going to be able to live by herself and Bil any more.  Pure and simple- society does not support individuals with Aspergers or autism, doesn't support their families, doesn't support their siblings, or their parents.

At Christmastime, we are going to have to talk about Mom's future and Bil's.  It isn't going to be a pleasant conversation.  But she is now at the age where injuries are just not going to heal.  And Bil really can't help her anymore.

Bil is one broken hip (his mother's) away from a major life change - and our lives, too.

And that broken hip will make Bil homeless, if Mom has to leave her home for more than a year.

And then, what?

Do you know what I am afraid of? The aftermath of Newtown and the horrific shooting there by a 20 year old man who was obviously mentally ill.

There are rumors that the shooter had Asperger's Syndrome.  People are going to equate his mental illness with Aspergers Syndrome.  And then what?  Will people become afraid of all individuals with Aspergers? 

I think we've just seen the tip of the iceberg.