A World Without Books #FridayReflections

“I have always imagined that paradise will be some kind of library.” — Jorge Luis Borges

I have loved books since I was a little girl.  I loved how they felt.  I loved how they smelled.  I loved going to the small branch public library that was located in the housing project where I grew up and taking books out.

Soon after I started school, that branch library closed, and in its place we started to get a bookmobile. It would park at my housing project each Thursday, except during the summer.  I dreamed of working in a bookmobile (a mobile library) when I grew up.

There was another branch library in walking distance, about a mile away.  They would close each June (and reopen in September) but they would allow users to take out an unlimited number of books right before they closed.  I filled my room with summer reading material.

So, when my husband and I became responsible for my autistic brother in law, one of the very first things we did for him was getting him a library card.  Strangely, he won't take the books out.  He wants to read in the library only.  He does have his favorites - science and horror.

In his own way, he loves books, too.  And the library.

In books, we both find our own types of paradise.

If heaven does not have libraries, it will not be heaven.

And, on this day when students and a teacher in a high school art classroom lost their lives in Santa Fe, Texas, all I can do is share a picture of a quilt displayed at our local library during the summer of 2014.  May they rest in peace.

Join Corinne at Everyday Gyaan,  Shalini/Kohl Eyed Me at #FridayReflections and share your love of books!

The Prodigal Blogger

Well, I returned.  Like the Prodigal Blogger I've shown up, three months after my last post.

You can't say I didn't warn you.  I did tell you I might never blog again.  And I almost never did.  But today, something hit me.

I decided, I really do want to make something of this blog.  I had even thought of using this blog to blog a book about my circumstances, but I've changed my mind about that.

Too much whining in some past posts, for one thing.  I did some venting in the past, which is OK if you are just writing for your own benefit, but not OK if you want other people to take you seriously.

People have blogged books, yes indeed, and some have become best sellers or even movies. (Rember Jul.  But books as vehicles of change, which is something I would like to address with my situation?  No.

For example, this blog post tells us that a lot of books don't even sell 300 copies a year.

Not much chance of change with a big 300 readers.

But, if you are dedicated, it is not much effort to reach 300 readers of a blog by following the advice of serious bloggers/authors such as Nina Amir. I'm not sure how long it would take for me to study her advice and put it into action. I would certainly have to give people the content they deserve, for the precious time out of their lives they would give my blog.

So, right now, I am in the thinking stage, even as we are trying to accomplish some exciting things in Bil's life. I'd love to vent and complain about the "latest and greatest" in Bil's life but I am not going to do it. Here, anyway.

Not any more.


So, what I have written here is a bunch of brave words. 

Now, to see if I can back them up.  I could try to blog a book in 30 days. 

Because of other things in my life that demand commitments, I won't be commitment free until December.  So maybe - let's say two months, or three?

Shall we see?

"Autism Solutions"

While we wait for the information regarding Bil's new Medicaid Service Coordinator, I've picked a book out of the library called "Autism Solutions: How to Create a Healthy and Meaningful Life for Your Child" by Ricki G. Robinson, M.D. 

I usually shy away from books like this because I find that the "child" means just that:  child.  Once again, Bil being born years too early.  But I took a chance on this book because of flipping through it and finding a discussion about seizures and autism.

I've said that I don't want to discuss Bil's health issues.  But, in reading one of his early evaluations, I found something we had never been told - that at one point in time, Bil had been put on a seizure medication.

Surprise!

Talking to my mother in law, we found that there was a suspicion that Bil might be having seizures, so he was put on the medication.  The medication made him very sick, and he was taken off.  End of story.

I was told by an autism advocate that the observation in a evaluation done over 30 years ago probably didn't mean any much.

But one thing that really shines through with this doctor is her compassion, and her ability to "walk in the shoes" of her patients, and their families.  (Another thing was her not putting down homeschooling as an educational solution, but that is a story for another day and time.)  She did have a section on adolescense.

I am definitely going to spend some time with this book.  And, I can hope that one day she will write the sequel:  "Autism Solutions Now that Your Child Has Grown Up".  A portion of sales of this book benefit an organization, Autism Speaks.  With all due respect, I say to them:  If Autism Speaks speaks for those with autism, it must speak for everyone.

Including Bil.

Another Pretty Neat Autism Book

Another book I picked up at the library that I would like to mention- "The Autism Mom's Survival Guide" (for dads, too!) by Susan Senator.  The subtitle is "Creating Balanced and Happy Life while Raising a Child with Autism". If only my in laws had had a book like this; it would have made my mother in law's life so much easier.

Susan Senator is worth hearing out for a number of reasons.
First,she writes a heck of a blog.

Second:  she has information on life when the person with autism has grown up.  Few books have that.

There is a short chapter at the back called "Looking toward the Future" with various thoughts and resources regarding adults with autism.  Some of it is about her own son.  Also, Ms. Senator mentioned various websites which allow ASD adults to communicate in their own (so to speak) voice.  One would think computers would be a heavensend for those who wish to communicate but are non verbal, and sure enough, for some it has been that heavensend.

Not Bil, though. (for the record he is verbal, although his verbal communication is somewhat limited.)


Also, this book concentrates on a lot of topics you will not find in any other book on autism, including keeping the relationship between a married couple alive.  And, how autism moms and dads keep their sanity.

Finally, a help to all those with children who have special needs (no matter what they may be) is a section on how to deal with a world that can be very noncompassionate.  We are fortunate right now with Bil; he does not act out in public. (that wasn't the case when he was young!).  However, we have never been in a true circumstance where Bil has to do something he doesn't want to do, and he must do it.  We've always been able to negotiate.

I'm dreading the day when this will come up.  In the wrong situation, it could lead to tragic consequences for Bil.


I am going to explore some of her ideas (if I can remember to write them down!) in my "spare time".

Books for Inspiration Part 1

It's sad in a way, but our local libraries are stocking more and more books about autism, Aspergers, and other spectrum disorders, plus books written by parents and even people on the spectrum themselves.

The only thing I can wish for is a book by someone in my situation.  Hmm, maybe I should be the one writing that.

But seriously, I will report now and again on some books that have struck me one way or the other.

Today I wnt to mention "The Best Kind of Different" by Shonda Schilling.  Keep in mind that here in Yankee country it is against the law to even think about the Red Sox....no wait, her husband Curt retired.  Still, it was an act of bravery to stock that book.  Kudos to the Broome County Library.

Seriously....

This book rang so true.  I don't want to get into particulars but I have "been there and done that" on a different (much different level)...so I was right there pulling with Shonda as she struggled with raising her "different" son.   Eventually Shonda listened to her Inner Mom (never ignore your Inner Mom by the way-it is always right) and got her son tested.  In a way, she was the last to know....it was so obvious....

The results:  Aspergers.  In a house already bursting with ADHD (two other children, and her husband) this was just the icing on the cake.  (by the way, Shonda:  YOU ROCK!)

A lot of people would do well to read this book.  Considering how common autism is becoming, a lot of people had better get educated, and fast. 

Red Sox fan or not, this book is worth reading, on a lot of levels.  From her experiences in realizing that her Aspie son may not be cut out for sports (and why this is the case is a national shame, in my opinion), from her disregarding advice from her neurologist (learning to trust the Inner Mom once again), from her finally seeking out help (it's a sign of strength, folks...I can tell you that first hand, too) to bluntly speaking about her guilt in not getting her son tested earlier....this is one gem of a book.

And Shonda, if you ever want to know what happens on the other side of puberty-that's going to be a whole other story.  Please write another book, and let us know.  We want to know!