Taking The (Measure) #AtoZChallenge

 “If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” – J K Rowling.

I get many chances to witness this, when my husband and I take my autistic brother in law, "Bil", out in public.

He loves to shop, for example.  He has several favorite stores - a drug store, supermarkets, and sometimes, a book store.  He also loves to eat out.

It isn't obvious right away that Bil has many challenges in his life. He can go up to the counter, present his purchase, and pay his money.  Or, in the restaurant, he can read the menu and speak his order.  Bil, unlike some autistic individuals, is verbal.

But if there is any deviation from the routine of paying or ordering, that's where you can see that something isn't right.  Bil will struggle for the right response.  And, his tone of voice is flat.

I've seen many clerks smile when they "get it", but you do get people sometimes that are less than patient.  And that's a shame.

It is so easy to perform small kindnesses.  Kindness is what our world needs a lot more of.

To those who do take the time to be patient with Bil when he is struggling with a rough spot, Thank You.

And, to my readers, new and old, Thank You for joining me on this journey.

My family's unknown journey ahead continues.

Skywatch Friday - Moon over the Mall

My brother in law is developmentally disabled.

One of his favorite activities is visiting our local shopping mall in the Southern Tier of New York State.

I took this picture right after sunset tonight, trying to frame the moon between the utility wires.

Linking to #SkywatchFriday.  Come visit sky pictures from elsewhere in the world.

Bil at the Farmers Market

Bil loves to shop.  He loves to get out of the house.

So when we needed to go shopping in our recent visit, he came right along with us.  He even accepted an additional stop without much anxiety, which I was happy for.  In fact, it surprised me a little.

We took him to a farmers market.  I wouldn't be surprised if that was the first farmers market he went to.  Fortunately the market was a pretty small one and not too crowded.

He patiently stayed off to one side while we visited several booths and made our selections.  I can guarantee that he was recording, with his mind, everything that he saw.

At home, he took some of the purchases out of the car and walked into the house.  He is used to helping his mother by carrying her groceries, so that has become part of his routine.

Bil doesn't like to eat veggies - but his Mom has figured out a way to get him to do so.  The secret ingredient is something he loves, and can be shredded and put on veggies.  Bil also ate an ear of corn that we ate at the market.

This sounds like just a simple "What I did today" essay. But, with Bil and his autism, it is a lot more than that.

Will we ever know what it meant to him?

Trader Joe's and Bil's Shopping

I recently read a post about some girlfriends, including a mother of a child with autism, shopping at a Trader Joes on the West Side of Manhattan.  It was so funny (in a way) because when we visit my mother in law's it is almost a requirement that we visit the Trader Joes about 1/2 hours from her-after all, we don't have a Trader Joes.

This same woman talked about the nearby Fairway, another foodie must-visit:  and now there is a Fairway a bit more than a 1/2 hour drive from my mother in law, too. Alas, in different directions from the Trader Joes.

I must have a soulmate somewhere on the west side of Manhattan.

This made me think about Bil, though, and his love of getting out and about and visiting food stores.

When we visit, Bil sometimes is just waiting for us to go to a mall or a food store, just so he can come with us.  At the mall near my mother in law's house we used to be able to let him to go off on his own, as long as we gave him a meet up spot and time.  "Meet us in front of Sears in exactly one hour" and there he would be.  And woe be upon us if we weren't there.  His prime destination was CVS, where he would usually buy some kind of chocolate.

But that mall is only a ghost of what it used to be, and it no longer has a CVS.  And Wal-Mart has come to town, and that is Bil's new favorite place.

But you know what else Bil likes?  Trader Joes.

We've taken him a couple of times (with my mother in law) when we have visited cemeteries on Memorial Day.  Bil loves Trader Joes.  Why?  Their selection of chocolate.  Because Bil is a confirmed chocaholic, much to my mother in law's horror.  Bil has....well, let's just say chocolate is not good for him.  But he does get his chocolate.

And who knows, he would probably love Fairway, too.  Although, probably not the one on the West Side.

Try to bring Bil into Manhattan?  Hmmm.....don't know if I am quite up to it.