It looks like my mother in law is serious about pursuing surgery for her knee. One of her nieces (in her 60's) is going to have some arthroscopic surgery and Mil is talking about seeing the niece's doctor-about an hour from where Mil lives.
I can't blame her. It is putting her ability to live independently in some jeopardy. Independence is extremely important to my mil. I mean to say, it is important to us all but to her and others of her generation, I suspect it is important to a degree we baby boomers can not imagine. The "rugged individualist", she is a very devoted Republican. (I only mention that to give an idea of some of her mindsets.)
So I spoke to my husband today. In my point of view, he tends to procrastinate over anything to do with Bil's housing situation. But now he is going to have to face the fact that if she goes ahead with the surgery she may have to spend some time in rehab, and Bil can not live alone. He will need some kind of in-house care, or someone looking in after him.
We live 150 miles away. The nearest sib is about a 20 minute drive away and works an afternoon/early evening shift at her job. I don't know, in all honesty, how she would approach being "the one". (This also gets a little into the book about daughters and daughters in law expected to do the caretaking that I mentioned in another blog entry.) Bil works part time, two days a week (and I know they have been cutting his hours), and would need someone there to meet him when he gets off the ARC bus, and to make sure he is fed-among other things.
I know my husband will face this head on and full speed ahead when it is upon him-where we tend to differ is that my tendency is to be proactive and his is not. Guess only time will tell who is right, but as a daughter in law...you guessed it, tag I will also be "it"!
(and we haven't even faced the colonoscopy his doctor wants Bil to have.....)
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Monday, September 6, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Knee Problems
It's official, my mother in law (mil), Bil and my sister in law will be coming up later this month. And with that, other news:
My mother in law's knee has gotten so bad that she is talking about checking out a local hospital that has been advertising about their state of the art orthopedic program.
I have knee problems (for us both, the main problem is arthritis) but no where near as bad as hers. And, I am 25 years younger than she is. Still, when I've had times when I can barely step up on a sidewalk curb without agonizing pain, I think of her, living alone except for Bil, in a split level house. Her bathroom and bedroom are up stairs, Bil is located down stairs, although luckily for her, not a full flight of stairs either way. He won't volunteer any help unless she asks.
She had an entrance built directly from the garage into her house, and that is going up and down stairs, too. In fact, that stairs is where one of her falls occurred.
But back to my mother in law, the fact that she is even entertaining something like knee replacement surgery is a sign of just how much everyday pain she is in. It's frightening too, in that I personally know a couple of not so good outcomes to this type of surgery (to be blunt: one person who ended up fighting c. difficule - which at her age could be fatal-and it took months, and several trips to the ER to recover- and, someone else who did die post op, from a hospital-based infection that the doctors never quite figured out. (it could have been MRSA, but before the days when MRSA had a name.)
And, of course, how would we take care of Bil while she was recuperating. She has had surgery before but it was a long time ago, back when her husband was alive and she still had (teen) children at home. Now, she would need a caretaker. And we are 150 miles away. My sister in law, who lives about 20 minutes from her, would probably be elected once she was out of rehab.
I reckon we will talk more when she comes. In fact, I don't know if she even attempted to get Bil the colonoscopy his doctor wants him to have. She never talked to us again. I have a feeling her physical problems have overshadowed this.
My mother in law's knee has gotten so bad that she is talking about checking out a local hospital that has been advertising about their state of the art orthopedic program.
I have knee problems (for us both, the main problem is arthritis) but no where near as bad as hers. And, I am 25 years younger than she is. Still, when I've had times when I can barely step up on a sidewalk curb without agonizing pain, I think of her, living alone except for Bil, in a split level house. Her bathroom and bedroom are up stairs, Bil is located down stairs, although luckily for her, not a full flight of stairs either way. He won't volunteer any help unless she asks.
She had an entrance built directly from the garage into her house, and that is going up and down stairs, too. In fact, that stairs is where one of her falls occurred.
But back to my mother in law, the fact that she is even entertaining something like knee replacement surgery is a sign of just how much everyday pain she is in. It's frightening too, in that I personally know a couple of not so good outcomes to this type of surgery (to be blunt: one person who ended up fighting c. difficule - which at her age could be fatal-and it took months, and several trips to the ER to recover- and, someone else who did die post op, from a hospital-based infection that the doctors never quite figured out. (it could have been MRSA, but before the days when MRSA had a name.)
And, of course, how would we take care of Bil while she was recuperating. She has had surgery before but it was a long time ago, back when her husband was alive and she still had (teen) children at home. Now, she would need a caretaker. And we are 150 miles away. My sister in law, who lives about 20 minutes from her, would probably be elected once she was out of rehab.
I reckon we will talk more when she comes. In fact, I don't know if she even attempted to get Bil the colonoscopy his doctor wants him to have. She never talked to us again. I have a feeling her physical problems have overshadowed this.
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