Monday, September 6, 2010

Surgery for Bil's Mother?

It looks like my mother in law is serious about pursuing surgery for her knee.  One of her nieces (in her 60's) is going to have some arthroscopic surgery and Mil is talking about seeing the niece's doctor-about an hour from where Mil lives.

I can't blame her.  It is putting her ability to live independently in some jeopardy.  Independence is extremely important to my mil.  I mean to say, it is important to us all but to her and others of her generation, I suspect it is important to a degree we baby boomers can not imagine.  The "rugged individualist", she is a very devoted Republican.  (I only mention that to give an idea of some of her mindsets.)

So I spoke to my husband today.  In my point of view, he tends to procrastinate over anything to do with Bil's housing situation.  But now he is going to have to face the fact that if she goes ahead with the surgery she may have to spend some time in rehab, and Bil can not live alone.  He will need some kind of in-house care, or someone looking in after him. 

We live 150 miles away.  The nearest sib is about a 20 minute drive away and works an afternoon/early evening shift at her job.  I don't know, in all honesty, how she would approach being "the one".  (This also gets a little into the book about daughters and daughters in law expected to do the caretaking that I mentioned in another blog entry.)  Bil works part time, two days a week (and I know they have been cutting his hours), and would need someone there to meet him when he gets off the ARC bus, and to make sure he is fed-among other things.

I know my husband will face this head on and full speed ahead when it is upon him-where we tend to differ is that my tendency is to be proactive and his is not.  Guess only time will tell who is right, but as a daughter in law...you guessed it, tag I will also be "it"!

(and we haven't even faced the colonoscopy his doctor wants Bil to have.....)

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