Here We Go Again Part 1,849

I know, I haven't posted in a while.  Things have been a bit hectic in another part of my life, with some associated deadlines.  But here I am again.

Our visit last week with Bil and Mil went OK.  But in one way I'm still....not seething, but rather, seeking to find a way around this.

The day Mil dies (or has a major stroke or other sudden event-and she's had one small stroke again) we are going to be in a lot of trouble.  We do have HIPAA releases (my spouse does, anyway, which is all that matters) signed so Bil's primary care doctor can speak to us.  But we don't have anything else.  We can't help him with other medical matters, we have no releases to help him with checking, banking, paying bills or anything else.  His MSC (Medicaid Service Coordinator) has been seriously ill, and we suspect she has missed visits, with no one else at the organization he is a client of taking up the slack. We have no guardianship papers on Bil, no representative payee and I am not even sure which way we should be going or who we should be asking.  We don't want to spend more money on lawyers.

My Mil basically does what she wants.  She's asked me to research things at times then does what she wants to do anyway.  I feel like I am not going to research anything else for her.

But that day that Bil is alone in the world without her:  THEN WHAT?

I don't know that guardianship is what he needs.  But the latest thing that had me a bit upset is that she has a financial advisor and has given him almost everything Bil has, moneywise, to invest.  The advisor is quite willing to speak to us, which is good.  What it came down to is that there is no way to have us look at Bil's accounts online because my spouse is not a trustee of the trust.  We are a bit gunshy about his investing because in a previous investment she received bad advise on (NOT from this advisor) Bil lost a bit of money.  And then the next financial advisor rolled this bad investment into another bad investment.  So he lost even more money.

She has his money in the stock market, for Pete's sakes, someone who works part time in a sheltered workshop. And she doesn't understand the stock market.  That's what I am really concerned about.  I don't know if she is getting bad advice AGAIN.  And if that is serving Bil at all.

I wish we could convince her we are not "after" anything.  She is quite willing, more and more, to ask our help on her own affairs. But mention Bil, and the Great Wall goes up.

Meantime, we'll have no legal ability to help him when "The Big One" hits.

How do you find this kind of stuff out?  I should know but I am pulled in so many different directions right now, it is like my mind has turned to mush.