We are going to have a couple of busy next few days. My brother in law and his wife had a financial talk with my mother in law. She tried to muddy the waters but she did allow them to look at some statements. She is-for various reasons spending - a lot. Independence doesn't come cheaply , especially when you are trying to do it without government aid.
As we already know, Bil does help in limited ways - taking out trash, even helping her with her purse and groceries, and now getting into the car.
They came to the conclusion that we are going to have to investigate senior living up here (upstate NY rather than nearer NYC where she is), and get her to move up here, where the cost of living is cheaper. She keeps falling and she needs an apartment on a single level (she lives in a split level now and has to go up and down stairs to do anything, even go to the bathroom). If she can sell her home and pay off the reverse mortgage she will be left with...something. If she waits she will be left with nothing.
So we are going to be doing a little research. What they found indicates she really is going to run out of money if she stays down there. We don't know if what she needs, or will accept, exists here but it is time to learn. Time to tread the trail so many others have tread before us.
I don't know if any independent living place here will allow Bil to live with her (he is in his 50's) but that will be the #1 question. If she waits much longer and falls again, she won't qualify for any type of independent living.