Taking Off In Flight

Some of us gain independence in our teens, others of us in our 20's.

For my autistic brother in law Bil, it may not be until his late 50's.  For others with developmental disabilities, it may be never.

Bil may never have the ability to fly totally on his own wings, but we will applaud his attempts at independence, no matter how low or how high he may be able to fly.

This coming Monday, he will take another step.

When Bil moved up to this area with his elderly mother some two years ago, he was not at all independent.  He had depended on his mother his whole life.  But, a day program he started to attend changed all that.

He used to watch the same political shows as his mother.  But then, he changed his orientation.  He went from one political party to the one his mother did not support.

If you asked him to do something, he sometimes asked "why?" Not out of disrespect, but he was starting to think things through.

And, he lived on his own (with support) for several weeks while his mother was in rehab after a hospitalization.  He chose that.  The only night he wanted to stay with us was when there were thunderstorms, something he is highly frightened of.

Now, Bil has the chance to live apart from his mother for the first time.  Monday, he will tour the apartment he and others are being considered for.

We are excited for Bil, even as people like Bil, people with autism, face budget cuts and worse.

We will not stop fighting for him, even as those who hate continue their demonstrations. 

The Threat

Up to now, I've devoted this blog to my autistic brother in law, "Bil".  But, starting today, I may take this blog in a different direction.

Because "it" doesn't happen overnight.

 By "it", I mean tyranny.  Nazi Germany did not go from zero to mass murder of millions overnight.  And, in some scary ways, people enabled the tyrants by not speaking out before it was too late. One day, they no longer could.

I grew up knowing people whose families had been wiped out.  Now, that generation is almost completely gone.  In the next few years, they will be gone.

It is up to us to speak out. What happened Saturday in Charlottesville, Virginia can happen anywhere in this country.

I have to wonder, if that car hadn't plowed into that crowd in Charlottesville, how many fewer people may not have woken up and take notice.  As it is, a 32 year old woman is dead and 19 others are injured.

History has much to teach us, dear readers, if we only pay attention.

And why should I do this on a blog devoted to someone with autism?

You may have heard of a condition called Asperger Syndrome, a " developmental disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests."  Some in Bil's life says he has this syndrome.

Have you ever wondered who it was named after?  Because it was named after someone.

Hans Asperger, who died in 1980, was an Austrian pediatrician.  Part of his life was lived during the Nazi era.  You may be interested in his history.

There is some evidence (not conclusive, I must add) that Asperger may have been sympathetic to the Nazis.  On the other hand, others claim he went along with a philosophy he found abhorrent to save the children he was treating.  Like so much in historical study, the story is complicated.

One thing that is not disputed that Nazis held periodic campaigns to eradicate people with disabilities. Bil would have been on his hit list.  

I wonder if those sympathetic to the alt right who have autistic family members  know about this part of the Nazi philosophy, and, if it would matter to them in the midst of their hatred.

If you have anyone in your family who is developmentally disabled, this fight against those who did these terrorist acts in Charlottesville is your fight.  You can not stand by and ignore what is happening in our country.

So, do I continue to write mild posts about my brother in law and his future?  Or do I take this blog in a new direction?

Why Fairy Tales Are More Than True

The United States Presidential election is over.  "Bil", my brother in law with autism, proudly voted.

He needed his brother's (my husband's) help.  He didn't understand much beyond the President and the vote for Senator. He's only lived here a little more than a year, and knew nothing about local candidates.  So he only voted for what he understood, and that's good.

But, in a way, his troubles may have only started.

I wonder what Bil thinks of all the post-election stuff happening - the fear, the protests.  He doesn't engage in any social media. He doesn't own a computer, a smart phone, or a tablet, and I decided years ago not to encourage it.  He is too naive - he is black and white in a grey, grey world.

Does he realize there are people out there who hate him, that consider him less than human, because of his disability?

Does he realize some of those haters want people like him gone from our society?  That isn't restricted to the United States, either.

Our President-Elect has not discouraged these haters, and there are, in fact, anecdotal reports of hate graffiti and worse since the election ended.

This is going to be a long four years for Bil, although he does not know it yet.

Which leads me to #FridayReflections.  One of the prompts is "What 10 things do you hope to be remembered by?  The first one would be "That I helped to make a better life for my disabled brother in law." because if we don't, who will, especially with all the incidents of hate taking place in our country?

Here are the others.

That I tried to make this Earth, in my own little way, a better place than it was on my day of birth;

That I raised a child who grew up to be honorable and hardworking;

That I remained true to my beliefs and did not give into hate (it's so easy to);

That I gave faithfulness and joy to the man I chose to spend my life with;

That I helped others with my skills;

That I did not misuse the talents I was granted from above;

That I honored the memory of those who came before me;

That I will be remembered for the good things I did and not the bad; and

That I recorded the beauty of this world and of the times I lived in.

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” – Neil Gaiman.  

I hope Neil Gaiman is right, because I fear we are going to be seeing a lot of dragons in the coming months and years.

Please visit the other blogs linked to #FridayReflections.