Considering what happened due to Superstorm Sandy in NYC, just a few short miles from where Bil and his mother are staying with a relative - Bil has lucked out.
He is comfortable in a finished basement, with all the privacy he could want, while my mother in law visits with her relative.
But, she wants to go home. Never mind that her entire town is without power. Never mind that maybe 90% of her county is without power. The drawer of home, comfort, and routine is a powerful one to all of us, especially when you are elderly. She wants to go home, even though there no power.
But what about Bil? Is it selfish for her to take him into that situation? I think it is, especially as the relative, who has to go out of town, says they are welcome to stay in her absence.
I think we are going to have to put our feet down about this.
As advocates for Bil, I think we have to do this, IF Bil wants to stay rather than be in a house without power. (and, truly, if he wants to go home, I still think a woman in her 80's needs to be in a place with power, especially with cold weather just around the corner. It could be days or even weeks before power is restored.)
We may have to work out something else, but first we will see what tomorrow brings.