Friday, May 19, 2017

The Sounds of Silence

Silence is not just the absence of sound.  Silence speaks in its own way.

Last week, I blogged about a housing opportunity for my autistic brother in law "Bil". When my husband told his mother (Bil is still living with her, as she approaches her 90's -her choice) her reaction was silence.

Silence can communicate a lot.

This Tuesday, Bil's service coordinator swung by my mother in law's apartment.  Bil met with her in his bedroom.  My mother in law doesn't hear that well and could hear little of the conversation.

In his bedroom, Bil signed an application to be considered for the housing opportunity.  It's been submitted.

So, yesterday, my husband had to tell his Mom the rest of the story, so she would have time to prepare.  Here's the situation:  If an apartment at this opportunity came free, Bil HAS to take it.  He has to take it right then and there. Otherwise, he may not have another chance.

Housing for people with developmental disabilities is in short supply.  There will be plenty of other individuals ready to jump at the chance.

My husband stopped by with groceries.  Mom knew he was going to talk about the housing.  He told her the full story.

His mother stayed silent for several long minutes.  Her silence said it all.

Finally, she spoke.  She spoke three words, in the language of her parents.

The words translate to "what will be, will be".

I know my mother in law wanted Bil living with her for the rest of her life.  But, he has to leave whenever this opening comes.  It could be two months (it will take that long for the application to be processed).  It could be six months.  But one day, the call will come.

He wouldn't move far- just a couple of miles from her, and from us.  It sounds like a good setup, too.  He would have one roommate.  Each would have his own bedroom. They would share a bathroom and a kitchen.  There is someone on premises 24 hours a day to help with any issues.  There is also transportation available.

Right now, he has his own bedroom and shares a bathroom and a kitchen with his Mom.

Bil came to a meeting yesterday that was supposed to take place last week.  At the meeting, he asked questions about where he would live.  I think, in his mind, he wanted to confirm what he had already been told.  All the answers were the same as information he had been given before he signed the application. 

According to my husband (I was at work), Bil didn't seem anxious.  I think a part of him is ready to fly the nest he has lived in for almost 60 years.

I just hope my mother in law is ready.  Silence, as the saying goes, can speak volumes.

"The sounds of silence" - today's prompt for #FridayReflections. Hosted by Corinne and Sanch, we choose from a small list of prompts, or from a weekly photo.  Come link up, or read what we each have to say and vote for your favorite post.

10 comments:

  1. You are absolutely right. Silence often conveys more effectively what words never can....

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    1. I won't be silent here - Another family member was going to have lunch with my mother in law today - it will be interesting to find out what transpired.

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  2. Lovely post...I hope this is the beginning of a great journey for your BIL. It's going to be overwhelming for all of you. But yes, que sera sera...

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    1. We hope it is the beginning of a new life for him, too, Sanch.

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  3. Hiya - so pleased to see that things are progressing for Bil - let's hope the call comes early ... have a peaceful weekend - with thoughts - Hilary

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    1. I'll keep hoping things do continue to progress. Thank you, Hilary!

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  4. It sounds like a good move for Bil, a chance for some independence and a place of his own, but I imagine it'll be a difficult change for his mother to accept. I hope things work out well for everyone.

    Cait @ Click's Clan

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    1. Only time will tell - but it was also past time.

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  5. I hope it all works out for Bil and all of you. You're so right. Silence does speak volumes.

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    1. I'll continue to report on how this situation plays out. It will never truly be over.

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