Friday, June 30, 2017

The Ultimate Conversation

We all will die one day.

There, I said it.

It's a truth we humans like to avoid  We use all kinds of euphemisms in describing it.  Passing on. Passing away.  Going to heaven.  Being promoted to glory.  Going to sleep in the arms of the Lord.  Taking a dirt nap.

Euphemisms don't work too well with people who are autistic.  Many of them take these euphemisms literally.

Yet, we were warned recently, we do have to talk to Bil about the upcoming death of his mother.  No, she isn't terminally ill.  But, she just fell again, earlier this week, and it's a matter of time.  That "matter of time" may be numbered in years.  Or months.  We just don't know.

But it's important to do it right.

For example, if you want to talk to him about his mother (who is elderly) dying one day, we were told you can't say to him "one day, your Mom will be gone".  That might well mean that she is going to walk out of their shared apartment one day and maybe she'll be back tomorrow, or the next day. 
No, it has to be in the sense that death is natural, and it is going to happen.

We need to prepare him for this most unpleasant event which will come one day.

One thing in our favor is that his father has died, so he is not a stranger to death.  But, after his father's death, little changed.

This time, everything will change.

So, the ultimate conversation will have to happen, and soon.

We just have to figure out how.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so pleased Bil has some idea of death ... though as you say the death of his mother will be so difficult. Good luck and all the very best - cheers Hilary


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