The Perils of Improving

We have a problem.  Well, we have more than one problem, but...

My autistic brother in law, Bil, will be dropped from his day program.  He no longer fits the criteria - he has improved too much.  He has to go.

This week, my husband (Bil's guardian) and Bil toured a possible new day program.

It's active.  They get the participants out to the YMCA for exercise.  They go bowling.  They play basketball.  They attend exercise classes.  They are out and about.

They asked Bil what he likes to do.  His response was "go shopping".

Hmmm....I have a feeling this is not a good fit.

So we don't know where to go. 

My brother in law, who is close to 60, has never been in any athletic activity.  For years, he worked in a sheltered workshop.  He came home and watched TV.  He went shopping with his mother.  But when his mother bowled with her friends or mall walked (those days are over), he didn't come with her.  She needed her time with friends.  I totally get that.

The day program he is with now broadened his horizons, but it was designed for those with medical issues, and now he will be in with active adults who love to be active.

I feel for Bil. 

He told the placement "he would think about it".  He doesn't have too long to think about it, though.

I hope he will try it.  We can't force it, although we can encourage it.  It is his life, his decision.

If he says no, then what?  Does he go back to sitting at home while his Mom (now almost 90 with multiple health issues) watches the Hallmark Channel, news channels, and cooking shows?

The future awaits.  And people with autism do not like change.

But change is coming.