Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Stuck Stuck Stuck

Bil's Medicaid Service Coordinator tells us there is nothing that can be done to help us find emergency housing for Bil as long as we are not his guardians.  This is because Bil has not expressed any interest in this option.

People First strikes again.  I maintain once again that People First, while great for those without cognitive disabilities, is a disaster for those who can not understand complex concepts such as "if my mother, heaven forbid, drops dead tomorrow, my future is going to change tremendously and I can not stay in  my mother's house, where I have always lived, because there is a reverse mortgage on it and the bank will kick me out."  In not so many words, that is.

As far as we know, my mother in law has never been declared Bil's guardian, but she seems somewhat secretive about this.  If she were his guardian, she assumes someone in the family is going to take Bil in.  Somehow, this conversation never takes place.  It is just too painful for any of Bil's brothers or sisters to bring up. Never mind that most of us are older than Bil, that some of us have health problems, and that Bil really deserves something better than being passed from sibling to sibling as we pass on.  Which will be, in all probability, before Bil leaves this earth.

So do we start the legal proceedings to become guardians?  This would, I fear, tear the family apart as long as Bil's mother is alive.  The only hopeful thing is, the brothers and sisters may be together for Thanksgiving.  But I am not optimistic about this conversation happening.  I fear no one will want to "ruin the holiday".

If Bil's mother dies before we can have a frank discussion a lot of holidays are going to be ruined.  Why do we always seem to be stuck in quicksand?  I'm so tired of whining about this.  I was hoping to have a hopeful blog, not a whiny blog.  But we are stuck stuck stuck.

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