Sunday, August 22, 2010

Bil at the Lake

My mother in law, sister in law, Bil, other brother in law and his wife, and my husband spent the afternoon at the brother in law's lake house in Pennsylvania.  A good time, I think, was had by all.

It's a lot of work, this lake house, for my brother in law and his wife, but she loves to entertain.  She talked about possibly having my mother in law up again in September.

As I expected, Bil occupied himself at the lake by watching the Weather Channel.  My other brother in law's wife, who is very sociable and outgoing, tried to engage Bil a couple of times without success.  She didn't (to my surprise) ask Bil to help prepare dinner, which she has on other occasions.  She really does a good job in trying to draw Bil into learning new skills. 

My mother in law helped chop vegetables for a salad.  She talked a bit about how lonely she was-her next door neighbor, (a widow who grew up about 20 years and a mile from where I grew up) who is also a good friend, occupies a lot of time with her family.  This has always been the case but my mother in law is becoming more and more dependent on her-to help her drive places, and so forth.  The shame is, once of her nieces lives only a couple of miles away but with 3 busy children, hardly even says "hello" to my mother in law.

And yet this niece's aunt- my mother in law's sister and, until she died a couple of years ago, this woman was taken care of by my mother in law.  (there were three sons but two of the three hardly paid any attention to their mother.  How sad.) My mother in law took her sister shopping, to almost all of her appointments, helped her with some light personal care and so forth.  And now....nothing in return.  It's really sad.  I pray I don't suffer a similar fate.

At any rate my mother in law treated us to some cookies which, she admitted somewhat sheepishly, cost her $18 a pound.  She doesn't have that kind of money!  But she can't break the habit of all those years when her husband was alive and she (after a childhood of poverty) finally did have some money.

We ate dinner outside and Bil, after eating, went back to the TV as is his habit-but to my surprise came outside a few minutes later.  He sat apart from us but he is always watching-it would be a little creepy, honestly, if you did not know him.  Again, you never know what is in his thoughts.

The future planning thing has stalled out somewhat.  We need to get back on track, but some immediate family issues in our family are hindering it.  Ah, this juggling act.  Ain't it wonderful.

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