I think Bil is depressed.
I think he wants to be out and about in public. He wants only limited contact with people, on his terms, but he wants that contact.
He needs that contact.
I can not believe that, after Hurricane Sandy, that my elderly mother in law returned, from a safe place we had arranged for her, to her house (which wasn't damaged, but didn't have power.) She was intending to stay there, in the dark, perhaps for days. A number of family members begged her not to do this.
She wouldn't listen to any of us.
And, of course, Bil went right along with this. What choice did he have?
Fortunately, after several hours in her dark and cold house, she saw reason, and children of one of her friends whose power had been restored, came and got them both.
We have to give Bil a chance to live a full life. He isn't getting it with his mother any longer, not because she doesn't love him, but because life has become too much of a struggle for her.
What a stubborn old lady she is. It's served her well but now is just hurting her.