My research is organized. It is go time.
We have several sets of issues: a recap may be helpful.
1. Bil, a man in his 50's with autism, has been cared for by his mother for all his life. But his mother is in her 80's, has fallen several times, and struggles with issues that may have been caused by a small stroke several years ago.
2. She wants to have Bil with her. But this is making Bil's world shrink. She is in tremendous pain now getting in and out of her car. She just can't take him places. And, she won't let go. She already, when his number came up on a waiting list, refused to let him go into supported housing. He was reluctant, but I think he would have done it if she had encouraged him.
3. He wants to be around people in his own way, on his own terms. And she can't be his transportation any more. I have a feeling she won't be driving for that much longer.
4. She is losing her hearing.
Thank heavens she still has her wits about her.
5. She is scared of falling, scared of losing her independence.
6. We know Bil cares, but he is who he is,and he can't express what he feels. He cares for his Mom - but on what level, I truly don't know.
7. Family members have been split on what to do about this situation, but I think, in the last two weeks, we have moved closer. This process was actually started by another in law of Bil, not me, but it doesn't matter. This isn't a game with us scoring points.
We meet today (without me).
I will recap what happens today when I can.