Saturday, April 29, 2017

Yearning (for good housing) #AtoZChallenge

"Bil", my autistic brother in law, had his annual review recently, and the topic of housing for Bil, once my mother in law can no longer care for him, came up.

Let me backtrack a little.  Bil lives with his mother.  He always has.  First, it was in his childhood home, where he lived for all his conscious life.  In 2015, he and his mother were moved up here to be closer to two of her other children, and they moved into an apartment in a senior complex.

Once his Mom can no longer stay there due to physical or health issues, Bil has to move out, and find another housing option. He would be allowed to stay, but he can't afford the rent.  And therein lies the problem.

We already experienced a time when Bil had to stay in the apartment while his mother was hospitalized.  He had a lot of support from my husband, his oldest brother, and me.

I've mentioned in other posts about the fact that Bil could never grasp the fact that garbage needed to be taken out.  He had to be prompted.  It was surprising that the smell of garbage didn't seem to prompt him into action.

We were a little bit more successful with food.  Bil has always been scared to use the stove.  But, we found he could use the microwave with direction.  Lunch was not a problem two days a week, when he attended a day program. On other days, he would have a sandwich from a fast food place or the local supermarket (one of us had to take him).  For supper, we ended up buying frozen dinners for him (alternating them with ready made dinners from the local supermarket). Bil learned to read the directions and put in the cooking times.

But being able to make microwave meals or being able to take out the garbage does not lead to independence.

Also, there is no public transportation where Bil lives.  He is too young for the "senior bus".  He is not capable of learning how to drive.  And, even if he could get around on his own, it would not solve the problem of housing for Bil.

We will have to learn to think outside the box, because his options are truly limited.

"Y" Day on Blogging from A To Z.


  1. I am so sorry and my heart aches with and for you. The options are not dissimilar here. One solution (which isn't) is to put the person in an aged care home. On their own, without family. No easy answers. And a lot of anxt.

  2. Hi - so difficult for you both and obviously for Bil too - looks like thinking out of the box may give you some further leads to help - cheers Hilary


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