My brother in law and his wife are heading for my mother in law's house tonight. They won't be down there for long but we will see what they can find out.
In the meantime, I am doing some research to hope to organize myself. We are 150 miles away so I guess what we are doing is going to qualify as "long distance caretaking". Our opportunities to visit are limited, so we need to be able to do as much as possible in each visit.
We need to identify where my mother in law wants help and where she will resist.
And the three neurotypical siblings of Bil, need to "get on the same page" so we don't work against each other.
And then....well first, let's see what happens this weekend. And then, we go down the end of the month.