In a few hours, we will be heading towards my mil and Bil's house. Tomorrow, (we already gave my mil a heads up) we need to gather as much information as possible and hope we can also find a place with a copy machine to make copies of cards, bills and so forth. Also, I hope my husband has time to speak to my sister in law about helping with this effort. She is more local than any of us and needs to take more of a role. She will do things if we ask but if we don't ask, she doesn't...she does care, I think things just never occur to her.
I know there is only so much we can do, and she is going to have to help with things that are best done locally.
I hope (and pray!) our approach to her is a good one and doesn't get her upset or get her defensive walls up. I know that for her (and many of us) asking for help is an admission that you can't "do" for yourself any more. She was brought up in a generation that prized self reliance. But she can't rely on herself any more, and to be quite frank, she never did much planning for her own disabled son- just assumed that her other children would be there for him.