Sunday, August 14, 2011

The More Things Remain the Same....

Another visit with Bil and my mother in law concludes 

Incident:  It was dinner, and my sister in law had set up a table with food so we could all serve ourselves. Bil is always served by his mother.  So of course he expected to be served.  My sister in law told him he needed to get his own food.  (Even as her mobility deteriorates, and he is supposed to be helping her, it sometimes seems years of habits on her part just don't change.  Not that I don't realize how hard it is to break habits, but she has to let him develop some independence!)

Outcome:  he did get his own food.  But the next time we had dinner, the scenario replayed itself.

Incident:  Family socializes in living room, and just a few feet away, Bil sits by himself and watches The Weather Channel.  Family member tries to get Bil to sit with us.  Bil's mother asks Bil to sit with us. 

Outcome:  Bil reluctantly sits with us, for perhaps 5 minutes, then back to the Weather Channel.  My mother in law makes an excuse that he is anxious about the weather (there is a chance of rain). 

Incident:  Every time we see Bil, you can see the weight gain.  Bil still will not exercise.  His excuse is his asthma.  And now that my mother in law finds it hard to do things like mall walking, he is getting even less exercise than before.  He also has a sweet tooth.

Outcome:  I truly believe my mother in law is trying her best, and fighting a losing battle that she doesn't have the energy to fight.  I have no idea how to get Bil to move.  I am truly worried about his health.

I will write more about the exercise issue tomorrow.

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