Sunday, February 14, 2010

Change...It's a Gonna Come (part 1)

My mother in law is back home, and my brother in law is now returned home to his room in his house. This is the one place he remembers living in.  And one day he is going to have to leave it for good.

Change is going to come.  It's the elephant in his room.

My mother in law has fallen several times.   She fell around Christmas time and this time she doesn't seem to be totally bouncing back.   My mother in law, bless her, she is fiercely independent.  She has done much in her 11 years of widowhood.  She didn't even tell us about this fall right away.  No surprise, she hasn't always told us about the other falls.  We usually find out because she has a visible bruise or has otherwise hurt herself. And I wonder how many other falls there have been.  One day it is going to be "the fall".  And then what?  It's the big "what" that all grown children face with parents one day.  It's just our turn now.

Anyway, several things of note.

First, in talking about her great time in Florida, she mentioned she fell on a sandy beach, despite hanging on to her nephew, who was walking with her.  She just couldn't keep her balance.

Second, she mentioned she had been so relaxed in Florida, and now she felt like all the weights of the world (that wasn't exactly what she said-I'm paraphrasing) were back on her shoulders. 

I wonder exactly what she feels about her disabled son.  She's always been so protective.  A couple of years ago, when his name came up on something called the "NY Cares" list, she would not let him go.  And she also made a comment, the time before this, about people saying bil is company to her.  She said he really wasn't.  I couldn't believe this, it was not like her at all.

Maybe the truth slips out more easily now.

She still tries to protect him, but she no longer can't.  Now, bil must be the best help to her that he can be.  Change comes to us all.  It doesn't come well to him.  More on that next.

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