Sunday, October 2, 2011

An Insight into Anxiety

Another restless night, hearing the rain pound on the roof here in the Southern Tier of New York.

Will the rain stop?  Will it flood again?   Should I go down and check the basement?  Should I check our street to see how much water is in it?

Over 100 miles away, I'll bet Bil is watching The Weather Channel.  He's always been anxious about rain.  He hates thunder, but even rain scares him.  One time he was looking forward to a visit up here but it was raining, and he refused to get in the car.

He must be watching the radar and weather report for our area.

About three weeks before our area was flooded, with almost half of the city of Binghamton evacuated (the call came for people I know at 3 am), Bil and his mother were brought up here for safety from Hurricane Irene.  Bill and Mil missed about 5 days without power.  But their basement was OK.  No water.

Now I have a little taste of what Bil goes through on a daily basis.  The difference is, of course, is that I do not have autism.  I can tell myself to calm.  I can tell myself I am not helpless. I can research how to deal with the mild post-traumatic symptoms I and others who went through the flood may have.  I can tell myself I can take action.  I can tell myself it will be all right.

I don't think Bil can do any of these things.  And therein lies the difference.

I thank life for this opportunity to walk in Bil's shoes.

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