Saturday, July 7, 2012

Support for In Laws

I accidentally stumbled on a support organization for sibs of people with disabilities, located in New York City.  We live in upstate NY, not that close to NYC, but that may or may not matter.

This "NY Meetup" is a place to meet and network, apparently - it is not a place to vent, at least online.  There is even a button where you can use Facebook to find out if any of your Facebook friends are a member.

First, it got me to thinking about my mother in law, who had to "do it alone" in raising a child with autism back in the late 60's and early 70's.  There was absolutely no support for her.

She has never expressed any interest in networking with other Moms.  Perhaps, at her age, she doesn't think it is necesaary.

Next, it got me to thinking about male vs. female. My husband has never been that interested in support groups. And, interestingly, looking at the list of members - there are men, but it looks like the majority of members are women.

It may be a stereotype, but it seems (in my experience) that women in general like to have the support of other people in their particular situation, where men see themselves more as solitary problem solvers.  It's almost like asking for help is like asking for directions - not manly.

Not better or worse styles, but just....different.

And last but not least:  I felt a pang seeing another support organization for sibs.  There are organizations to support sibs, and organizations to support parents.  It's a familar pang -when will I ever find support from other in laws?

I can't be the only one in the situation of having an inlaw with a disability.

Maybe I'll (grin) have to make it up myself.

Anyone else out there married to someone who has a sib with a disability?

Casting my pebble into the waters.....





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